Monday, August 17, 2009

Found a house!

I found a house. It's not exactly what I was looking but do we ever really find exactly what we are looking for. I'm not exactly in any position to be picky right now either. It's in the same school district for the kids, it's in the country, so I don't have to adjust myself and kids to town, it's got enough bedrooms, I can take the dogs and it's really an upgrade as far as structurally sound. This place though I hate to leave right now is really not in the best condition.

There are some minor downfalls to the place. I
shouldn't say they are bad, I think it's just going to be an adjustment. I'm really out in the Boony's now. Like way off from paved roads and no neighbors, which really doesn't bother me, we like our peace and quiet. I'm just not sure how being that far out and no close neighbors is going to work for me in the winter. I've always had friends and neighbors bring their tractors out to plow me out in the winter. I do believe I'm going to need to buy a big snow blower and do it myself now. UHGG!

So... I'm kind of at a waiting period right now. Waiting for the contract to be written up, waiting for money so I can actually pay for the place, transfer my utilities and move, waiting to actually get the keys and have the place. They are holding it for me right now..which is a plus right?

I'm starting the big clean up and packing which sucks anyway, but now I'm going through and packing my Soldier's stuff first. It's not like he needs them right now does he? As I go through his cloths, and all the misc items he has everywhere, I find myself hugging and smelling each of his shirts I fold and pack, trying so hard to hold back the tears but failing miserably. This is proving to be a lot harder not easier.

I know I have friends that are going to help me move, and are there for me, but there are some voids friends just can't fill.

I don't think I've ever felt so overwhelmed,completely on my own and the worst part lack of the strength that I'm always told I have. before in my life.

Starting to take some Pepcid OTC, because the tummy and backache and nausea is telling me all the stress is taking it's toll. Soldier on right? Adapt and overcome is what our lives are about, right?

So...with tears in my eyes, a heavy heart and a deep breath, I'll grab my soldier's shirt, lay my head on it and fall asleep to the smell of the man that I miss with every depth of my being.

Tomorrow is a new day... I'll push on and do what I must, with the hope that things will all work out in the end.

Goodnight my dears,

Cowgirl Lady

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