Top photo: My life, my family, last time my husband was military
Bottom photo: My life, my family now, my husband has decided to get back in the military.
Notice any differences?
OK, I know you are asking, why the two pictures, well ya'll, I will tell you. Because I'm thinking about the changes in my life since my husband was in the military. Confused are ya?
Let me clarify...my husband, that's the biggest kid in the pics, was active duty Navy when we married, he did five years on a ship, six years total Navy, stationed in Norfolk, VA. After two cruises aka deployments, and being gone roughly 6-8 months out of the year he decided to get out and try civilian life. That was five years ago. Civilian life is OK, he likes his job, likes his hobbies, and loves being home with the kids and myself and living out on our little piece of heaven.
BUT...when you have a man, such as that big, bulging biceps, barrel chested cowboy up there, military is his life. He misses it, it gnaws at him not wearing a uniform, not having his comrades, not serving his country. Not being at the call of his commander in chief. It's all he's wanted since playing war with GI Joe's and little green army men. His life is just not complete without it. I can understand, my life is not complete without sloppy baby kisses and the ringing of "mom, mom, MOMMMM!" in my ears daily. So, the papers are signed and he's now part of th ND Army National Guard!
So, I understand, I support him, I'm his strength when he needs it. And now I'm wondering about my own strength.
Do I still have what it takes to handle year long deployments with 3 young boys and my little prairie home? Can I handle, the winters alone and if anything breaks not being able to tell my hubby to fix it, like a small child who's Christmas toy broke. Of course he does his best to fix it and if he can't, he somehow most always finds a way to make it all better anyway.
My husband and friends have no doubt that I'll be fine, everything will be OK. I'm strong and independent and they have no worries. But, isn't it usually us who doubt ourselves the most. The hardest person to convince of their strengths is yourself.
On the days I have doubts in myself I just keep telling myself.
I can do it... I'm an Army wife now... Proud, Strong, Loyal!